


If this is it

by stececilia



Category: The Exorcist (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bloodshed, Confessional Booth Sex, Confessions, Exorcisms, First Time, I may be kind of obsessed with kissing in the moonlight, Kissing, Life confirming sex, M/M, Making Love, Near Death Experiences, Riding, Spit As Lube, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-30 19:09:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18321443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stececilia/pseuds/stececilia
Summary: After an exorcism almost goes wrong, Tomas stumbles upon a realization about his fellow exorcist.





	If this is it

**Author's Note:**

> So this piece of work is actually the first one I wrote after the second season ended before we all received the awful news of the show being canceled. It takes place sometime after the second season where Marcus returns and the three go on the road together.
> 
> The title comes from the Huey Lewis song "If this is it."
> 
> The part in italics notes past event.

   Marcus continued tossing and turning in his bed realizing that the motel beds he was used to sleeping in were more comfortable than the beds in the church’s sleeping quarters. He sighed knowing that that was not the whole reason for his tossing and turning.

   He glanced over at Mouse seeing her out like a light and felt a ping of envy that she could sleep so soundly after the exorcism. After deciding to travel together in their quest to locate Bennett, other exorcists to warn, and destroy demons along the way they found themselves drawn to this little town in South Dakota. It was a brutal exorcism, one that took several days and lots of screaming and praying. It was this evening that they had finally cast the demon out, cast out the demon that nearly sent them all to an early grave. Every day they walked out of there with cuts, bruises, and covered in all kinds of fluids.

  Marcus sat up and saw Tomas’ bed empty and wondered where he went and if he was having the same problem as Marcus. Marcus got up and left the room walking towards the sanctuary. He stood at the entrance feeling a sense of peace at the large room lit only by candles and the light from the moon and stars streaming through the stain glass windows. He looked around the sanctuary and saw Tomas sitting in a pew head bowed softly praying.

   Marcus walked over and sitting down said, “Is it helping?”

   He heard Tomas stop praying and lift his head saying “No. I still can’t find peace…”

   “Tomas…”

   “We almost died Marcus.”

   “Comes with the territory. But hey we didn’t.”

   “But we almost did…I almost did…” Tomas whispered as Marcus winced at the particular harsh memory.

    _The demon, broken free from its bindings, flung Marcus and Mouse back sending Marcus into a mirror and Mouse into a dresser. With them out of the way, the demon raced forward and grabbed Tomas pinning him to the wall by the throat. Wooden shard from the shattered bed in hand, it raised it high planning to plunge it into Tomas’ neck._

_It was only a stroke of luck that Tomas managed to get enough strength and leverage to kick out successfully hitting in the demon in the stomach. The demon howled but slammed its hand down causing the wooden shard graze Tomas' neck and shoulder blade. Blood splattered against the wall and the demon's face, before gushing down Tomas' shoulder and neck._

_Marcus watched, helpless, as blood ran down Tomas’ black shirt and drenching his white collar red with blood. The demon let Tomas go, who fell to the ground holding his neck, as Mouse charged the demon and Marcus ran to Tomas. Putting pressure on the bleeding gash, they both continued praying when Tomas joined in, albeit weakly, and together they successfully drove the demon out. Fortunately the family was one with doctors and they patched Tomas and the others up as thanks for saving their son._

   “Marcus.” 

   Marcus shook his head saying “Sorry what?”

   “Are you all right?” Tomas asked concerned looking at Marcus with his expressive brown eyes.

   “Yeah just…”

   Tomas looked down saying “Like I said I almost died and well there was so much…so much still to say and do that I was afraid I wouldn’t have the chance to complete. I thought ‘if this is it…then so be it…’ but there was no peace to it…it was panic and regret and sorrow and…”

  “Hey, hey it’s all right.” Marcus said gently placing his hand on the back of Tomas’ neck seeing the younger man getting worked up.

  “It isn’t! It…” Tomas cried looking at Marcus as Marcus saw all the emotions Tomas was feeling in his eyes. “I almost died without telling someone how I feel about them…how much I love them…” Tomas added softly as tears dripped down his face.

  “But you’re vows and…”

  “Fuck that!” Tomas spat standing and looking down at Marcus. “I know what I am and I will always love God but I don’t want to die a coward…die without them knowing that they meant so much to me. When I die I want it to feel differently.”

  “Perhaps that is how death feels. Perhaps it is nothing but filled with regret of all the things we wish we did.” Marcus said simply leaning against the back of the pew looking up at the ceiling.

  “But if that is so, then I want to change that…”

  “We can’t change how death will feel to us.”

  “No but I can change. I can do what I can to quell some of the feeling of regret…of emptiness.” Tomas said in a determined voice as Marcus looked at him and rested his arms along the back of the pew.

  “Alright who is this mystery person. Is it Mouse? Cause I will tell you are better taking those feelings to the grave. Is it…Jessica?” Marcus asked softly hating how that name left a bad taste in his mouth as Tomas shook his head.

  Tomas straddled Marcus’ lap saying, “It is you.”

  He leaned down and kissed Marcus gently yet full of emotion as Marcus let out startled noise. Tomas pulled back saying, “I have fallen for you Marcus…I love you. I just want you to know…if you don’t feel anything that is fine…I just…almost dying made me realize I would regret not telling you…not at least kissing you once…” Tomas looked away and said, “I am sorry.”

  “Tomas.” Tomas looked at Marcus who cupped his cheek saying “When I saw you bleeding there and possibly dying…I felt my world shatter. I thought my feelings were misplaced or something but when I felt like I couldn’t go on without you…I realized that my feelings were…real. I…God…we could die any day…at any exorcism. Even if this is it…this moment…at least we had it before…”

  “Marcus…”

  “Hmm?”

  “Shut up and kiss me.” Tomas demanded softly as Marcus chuckled and pulled Tomas’ face to his.

  Their lips met in a passionate kiss as Marcus ran his hands down Tomas’ back to his pants and pulled him forward. Tomas cupped Marcus’ face with both his hands and parting just enough to talk said “Marcus I want you. I want you in me…I want to know we are alive that I have you…that we have each other.”

  Marcus let out a strangled sound then said “Where? Mouse is in the quarters and here…” Tomas kissed Marcus’ lips lightly then nodded to the confessional by the wall. Marcus gave Tomas a look saying “Really?”

  “Kill two birds with one stone. Privacy and then we can confess.” Tomas smirked as Marcus chuckled and kissed him again before standing. Tomas led Marcus to the confessional booth and opening the door pushed Marcus in. He entered after Marcus and closed the door straddling him once again on the bench.

  They kissed with a frenzy of starved men finding food. Marcus unbuttoned Tomas’ shirt and kissed his neck before running his tongue in the hollow of Tomas’ neck. Tomas moaned softly arching against Marcus, resting his hands on the back of Marcus’ head encouraging him further. Marcus kissed Tomas’ collarbone then back up his neck biting down.

  Tomas gasped out and clutched Marcus tighter as Marcus soothed the bite with his tongue before pulling back and looking up into Tomas’ eyes. Tomas let his finger trace Marcus’ facial features, running his finger over the healing scratches on Marcus jaw. Marcus closed his eyes breathing deep and ran his hand up Tomas' stomach and chest feeling it heaving with each breath before tracing the butterfly stitches on Tomas’ neck. They both leaned back and looked at each other as Marcus said “My Tomas…I…”

  Tomas just nodded and kissed him tenderly before whispering against his lips “Fuck me please Marcus.”

  Marcus nodded as Tomas stood up and made quick work of his pants pushing them and his boxers down getting one leg free. He saw Marcus doing the same, pulling his down when Tomas saw they were down by his knees before pushing Marcus back down on the bench. Marcus landed with a grunt as Tomas straddled him kissing him passionately.

  Tomas grabbed Marcus’ hand and lifted it to his face. He pulled back and took Marcus’ fingers in his mouth seeing Marcus’ pupils dilate and breathing speed up. Tomas smiled as Marcus used his other hand to tangle in the hairs on the back of Tomas’ neck saying softly “Oh Tomas…that’s it…get them nice and wet.” Tomas moaned softly as the gravelly tone to Marcus’ voice and did as he was told.

  Marcus pulled his fingers free and reaching out used one to breach Tomas. Tomas gasped as Marcus rubbed his back with his free hand saying “Shh I got you…it’s all right.” Tomas nodded as Marcus added a second and then bent them a certain way causing Tomas to fling his head back moaning a little louder than he meant too.

  Marcus grabbed his head and kissed him saying “Need to be quiet Tomas…if I knew you would be this loud I would have found something to gag you with. Perhaps next time hmm?” Tomas looked at Marcus with a heated gaze as he rocked n Marcus’ fingers.

  “I am ready Marcus.” Tomas whispered as Marcus nodded and spit in his hand stroking his cock. Tomas lifted up some then slowly lowered himself down on Marcus’ cock.

  “Doing so good.” Marcus whispered rubbing Tomas' thighs. Tomas took a deep breathe forcing his body to relax and felt the pain lessen when he was fully seated on Marcus' lap. “Talk to me Tomas.”

   Tomas gripped Marcus’ shoulders saying “So good…how does it feel?”

  “So warm and tight…God I could come right now.” Marcus growled against Tomas’ ear as Tomas moved slowly when he finally found his rhythm. Marcus cursed softly kissing Tomas’ neck whispering sweet endearments into the skin there. Tomas moved quicker panting as Marcus started stroking Tomas’ cock saying, “Let’s come together love.”

  Tomas nodded and moved quicker saying “Oh Marcus…I think…”

  “Yeah me too…you feel so good…oh Tomas I love you so much.”

   Tomas rested his forehead against Marcus’ saying “I love you too. I…” when they kissed swallowing each others groans as they came together. 

   Marcus felt the warmth on his hand and stomach whispering sweet nothings into Tomas’ ear as Tomas clutched Marcus tight feeling the hot spurts of Marcus within him. Tomas closed his eyes letting out shuddering breaths relishing in the warmth he felt in his body. “Marcus…oh Marcus…” Tomas whispered when finally he went slack against Marcus’ chest. Marcus slumped against the back of the confessional holding Tomas close talking softly to him while stroking his back and hair.

  “I have you Tomas…I am here…I won’t let you go…” Marcus promised softly as Tomas just nodded and buried his face in Marcus’ neck feeling Marcus’ chest heaving just as much as his was. They stayed like that for a while even after Marcus felt himself go soft and slip from Tomas’ quivering hole.

  Tomas whined softly at the lost of connection he felt, when Marcus chuckled saying “Don’t worry we’ll do this again.”

  Tomas smiled and leaning back said “Really?”

  “Yes. I want to fuck you proper…in a bed.”

  Tomas blushed saying “It may be hard with Mouse around…”

  “We’ll figure something out.” Tomas smiled and kissed Marcus’ nose as Marcus smiled and kissed Tomas sweetly.

  They sat there kissing when they heard the sound of something sliding and a voice said, “I am guessing you’ll probably want someone to take your confession now.” They both jumped parting and turning saw Mouse on the other side of the grate.

   “Mouse?” Tomas squeaked turning red as a tomato as Marcus let out an annoyed sound.

  “Bloody hell Mouse what the hell are you doing?”

 “Being scarred yet entertained. Figured you would be loud in bed Tomas. The confessional really? Maybe next time you can just do it on the altar."

  “Mouse out.” Marcus said pinching the bridge of his nose sighing.

  Mouse smirked saying “I think I saw a priest around that could..."

  “Out.” Marcus said again in a firmer tone glaring at Mouse.

  “Fine. Oh and regarding sleeping arrangements, I am all for getting my own room thank you very much. Don’t need to see why Tomas was making all those sounds.” Marcus went to open his mouth again as Mouse said, “I’m going, I’m going. Just remember to clean up.”

  They heard her leave as Tomas sat there blushing as Marcus muttered under his breath. “Um…I guess we should get dressed and uh…”

  Marcus chuckled saying “You are so cute when you are flustered.” Tomas blushed again turning even redder as Marcus laughed and kissed him saying “Come on love, let’s get out of here before someone else finds us.”

  They stood up and started dressing when Tomas said, “I wasn’t that loud was I?”

  “Eh could have been quieter but honestly I like it. I can’t wait to see how loud I can get you.” Marcus smirked as Tomas just rolled his eyes and finished buttoning up his shirt before taking Marcus' hand. He kissed it giving Marcus a smile as Marcus just cupped Tomas' cheek.

  They kissed gently in the moonlight before parting. "We should shower...then get some sleep...Mouse will want to get an early start." Marcus whispered as Tomas nodded and took Marcus' hand as they walked through the sanctuary back towards the sleeping quarters to find a shower.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please like and comment if you wish.


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